Confusion is going to be the death of me.

Im going to loose my memory and when it finally happens im going to make sure I cant breath anymore because, the worst thing that could happen to me is I wont remember all the pains and sorrows Ive had and especially the magical momments I had with people I care about deeply, I will forget music,art,and writitngs I fell in love with and not think anymore I will be a brainless flesh bag deteriorating each second untill I finally take my last breath, last smell, hear the last thing, and look at the last thing which will be no one and nothing that I would care about because once I forget about others and things they will soon then forget about who I was. I will no longer be myself, the person who many either hated or cared for, to have that fate is what I do not want and would rather take my last everything myself in any way i please to. That is what I want...